From geopolitics to gluten-free diets, the internet has turned us all into instant experts—armed with half-read headlines, YouTube degrees, and unshakable confidence. Here’s a satirical look at how we graduated top of our class at YouTube University (and why that’s both hilarious and terrifying).
Welcome to YouTube University 🎓
Somewhere between the first lockdown and the third, we all quietly enrolled in the world’s most prestigious, least accredited institution: YouTube University.
Majors: Everything.
Graduation rate: 100%.
Textbooks: Zero.
I now hold honorary degrees in epidemiology (YouTube, 2020), supply-chain logistics (Reddit, 2021), and advanced missile defense systems (TikTok, 2023). My next thesis? Why my coffee tastes better in a mason jar—Instagram Reels pending.
The Instant Expert Starter Pack
- One headline skimmed in passing
- A six-minute explainer video with ominous background music
- A confident “As I’ve been saying…” tone
- The bravery to speak louder than people who actually know stuff
Fields of Study in 2025
- Nutrition: Eat carbs. No, wait—don’t.
- Finance: Crypto is dead… unless it’s going to moon tomorrow.
- Fitness: The one exercise you’re doing wrong is… all of them.
- History: I read a meme; therefore, I know what happened.
It’s Not Knowledge, It’s Performance
Real expertise is hard work. Fake expertise? That’s theatre. We’re not just sharing facts; we’re performing knowing—hand gestures, bullet points, and maybe a sarcastic laugh. Accuracy optional.
The Only Real Rule
In the age of infinite feeds, it’s not about being right—it’s about being first, loudest, and most meme-able.
“Well, as an expert, I can tell you…”
Congratulations. Another diploma earned.
💬 Share the Wisdom (or the Nonsense)
If this gave you a laugh (or an honorary PhD), share it with your fellow ‘experts’—because the world deserves more confident nonsense.
